New Years Thoughts

I suppose I'm one of the odd ones. I tend to make resolutions. And I tend to keep them. I look at it like a promise to myself. And I like keeping promises to myself.

It's simple things. Eat better. Grow in my relationship with God. Take the time to make each of my children feel as important to me as they truly are.

I've read many "un" resolutions this year. Things that people are not going to do. I think that's great too. I think that's probably harder to do. I'm almost scared to say things that I'm not going to do.

On my accidental journey I've found that so many times when I say that I'll never do this or that, it's exactly what I end up doing. Either because I'm put in a situation that I feel I have no choice. Or there is temptation there to do it where it was never there before. Or perhaps it's just God's way of showing me who is in charge.

I admire those that say they "won't" and then they "don't".

When I was in my 20's and even into my early 30's I thought I had it pretty much figured out. ; ) I was living my life in such a way that I would have no regret. Or so I thought. I used to boast to people that each decision I made, I did it was serious thought to that decision and that I made the best choice at the time with the information I had. And I believed this.

How ridiculous.

Not that I did anything that smacks of blatant disregard for anyone's wellbeing. But some of the decisions I made were purely out of self interest. Or laziness. And I do feel regret. And shame.

But, as my preacher pointed out today, to wallow in that is another form of sin. It's not honoring God to continue to look back and let that be the controlling factors in my life.

I fall down but I get back up again. I brush myself off, knowing that I'm forgiven and that I simply (ha) have to learn to forgive myself.

So I won't say I "won't" do any specific thing. Not yet.

But with God's help, I will say that I will try to get there.