Friday, October 09, 2009


Things seem to slowly be coming together.

I'm not really sure why I do some of the things I do. Or if there is a name or word for why/how I handle things.

I have a lot to do in my home. The list is daunting.

The (younger) girls are at an age that is crazy busy. Julia is learning to drive. And aside from that she is a fifteen year old girl that is involved in many healthy/fun/uplifting activities. Jillian is 12 and really coming into her own. She is starting to enjoy all the girly stuff. She now talks on the phone, texts and messes with her hair. She too has many, many church and/or co-op activities.

My husband works at least 6 days a week. He is involved in 2 different weekly ministries that are NOT church specific and at least 4 that are specific to our church.

We have chosen in our life to rarely, rarely eat out. This sounds silly. I know lots of people who say they rarely eat out and then pick up fast food on the way home. Or buy frozen dinners from the grocery. The thing is, we *rarely* eat out. Literally maybe 3 or 4 times a year. We almost never eat frozen dinners. Most of our food is made from scratch. Not that I grind the wheat for all of our bread (though I do that from time to time) but that I literally cook breakfast, lunch (which is sometimes sandwiches, and sometimes not), and dinner *7* days a week.

That's a lot of cooking. I spend my time in the kitchen. Probably on average 2-3 hours a day. And I'm grateful that I get to do this. But on top of the actual kitchen time, there is the planning and shopping time. And I'm a bargain shopper, so add that extra time to the mix.

And I've posted chore charts for the girls and I here before, and the girls do quite a lot. But there are several areas that I'm on my own. For obvious and not so obvious reasons I suppose.

I do all the laundry.

I do 95% of the cooking.

I pay the bills.

I do all of the shopping.

I keep the calendar. (This is a much bigger deal than you might imagine. I'll try to write more about it at a later time.)

I, of course at this point, do all the driving. (And this year the co-op schedule is ridiculous. I'll post about that sometime soon as well.)

I keep the school records.

I tend (or not) the garden.

The point is, I'm reasonably busy just in general. And then I have church obligations and committees on which I sit. There is much prep involved in at least 3 of these.

And it feels like somehow over the course of time, my priorities have gotten smudged. I've been spending way too much time on things other than my home. And my home is showing the signs of neglect.

There are things in my sidebar that are not directly related to my home. But these are things that I have committed to do and so I will do them. And when they are done, things are going to be considered very carefully before I commit to anything else at this season of my life that does not directly relate to my home or family.

I'll still continue (for the time being) with the areas at my church that I volunteer/participate. But only so far as it doesn't interfere with my true mission field.

My family and home.

Some may view this as selfish. So be it. I have to do what I feel is right for me and my family. And I really feel the call to focus on home. To live in the moment with my family. To not only perform the duties at home, but to make memories with them. To love my family. To love my home. To take the time to appreciate all that I've been given. Instead of rushing through one thing to get to another.

No more.

So here's to a new beginning. I hope to blog about it along the way.

The life with which I have been blessed is entirely too beautiful to only give it a passing nod.

It's time to stop and focus.


Andrea said...

Amen. That is exactly why I left the blog world for so long and why I posted explaining that I did not plan to let the blog become more important than it should. Wish you well and hope to hear from you as often as possible. You will always have a devoted friend here. :)

My name is Michelle. said...

LOL I just typed up a huge response to your comment and my power flickered and I lost it!

I'll just say that you are such a great encouragement. Thank you Andrea.

Hi. My name is Alanna. said...

Sounds like similar thoughts I've had running through my head lately.

I don't think it sounds selfish. It makes sense honestly. God gives us certain people and places that we spend almost all of our time in or with and we come back to these same people and places everyday for the rest of our lives. Thus, wouldn't it make sense to place them extremely high on our priority list? We've been given the highest honor and highest responsibility with these people and places.

Sometimes I think outreach doesn't always extend to the whole world. Sometimes it does, but more outreach gets done at home where you touch each other's lives before each of you goes out into the world. If you don't make it your priority, then seriously, it starts to look like the divided body of Christ where each has their own rooms, practices, denominations, and beliefs. Somehow not like a family that is going to live together forever in love and unity.

I think you're speaking much to the world of who Christ and His family is by choosing to place those as priorities.

Blessings on your endeavors!

My name is Michelle. said...

Alanna. Thank you. You made me tear up! And just because the decision to do this at this point is "right" doesn't mean it's "easy". So the encouragement is welcome. :)

The thing is (and this is what I had typed out before to Andrea), the other things that I do are *important*. They're not feeding the flesh things. (Though maybe they are, I'll have to think on that.) They're things like taking meals to those that need them. Things like assembling a parent board for our youth group to keep the parents informed. Things like joining groups to help coax friends to church. Things like preparing/making/transporting food/stuff for my husbands groups when he's not able to do it.

Big things. Things that seem to make a difference in others lives.

But at what cost?

The time has to come from somewhere. And it just can't come from my family or home anymore.