A Thanksgiving of Changes

I got the phone call a few weeks ago. My great uncle was to have heart surgery again. But this time it was more serious. The tests had shown up a tumor as well as a blockage. He would also need something implanted to regulate his heartbeat.

Earl and Barbara are like grandparents to me. And they're old. Both in their 80's. So that's not the news you want to hear.

We've always had Thanksgiving with them. Ever since I can remember. But this year, with Earl's health, they're just not up for it. The surgery isn't until December, but he is short of breath and has to take things really easy until then. And they have family closer than we are to them that wanted them to come to their home.

So Thanksgiving would be here this year. For my family and a family friend.

Lots to do, lots to prep, lots to decide. I'd never cooked a full Thanksgiving meal before all on my own. And even though I was a little sad about the change, I wanted it to be something special for my girls. Plus we have the new addition this year of my oldest daughters husband.

So we dive in, my oldest daughter and I, head first and plan and shop and plan some more. We search recipes and test foods and have our schedule all worked out for Thanksgiving week.

And then on Sunday before Thanksgiving our dog got sick. Really sick. He's old, almost 15, and been going downhill for quite some time. He's a big lab/retriever mix and has arthritis and hip issues. He's fallen a lot lately and not been able to get up for a while so we've been hesitant to leave him alone for any length of time.

But this is a different sick.

By Tuesday there was nothing we could do for him. The vet told us that we really had no choice but to put him to sleep. We asked if there was anything at all that would buy him some quality of life for even a little while. And he said no. The only humane thing to do was to let him go.

We'd always promised ourselves, and him in a way, that we'd not keep him around past when he should be here for our benefit only.

With many tears and much heartbreak, Tuesday we kept that promise.

Life is not the same around here without him. Lucy, our other dog, is weird. She's looking for him all over the place. Constantly.

So Thanksgiving here was a big change. It was surprisingly lovely, and only tinged with sadness from time to time.

I know to those of you that are not dog people how odd all of this may sound. Ridiculous even. But to those of you that ARE dog people, you get it.

He was a good boy.

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Our Father's Day

I can't find the words to describe my husband.

So instead I'll tell you how he spent his Father's Day.

Sunday is the only day that Mike isn't working from early in the morning until late in the evening. He enjoys resting on Sundays. We go to Church, we sometimes go to an outdoor market (we call it The Hippie Market, 'cause the first year it was open it had lots of people in 60ish clothing), we come home and read the paper and, weather permitting, hang out by the pool and relax. If it's rainy we'll watch movies or even sometimes nap. Friends are always welcome on Sundays and we usually have a few.

But since yesterday was Father's Day, our friends were celebrating with their fathers/children. Mike got a call from J. The guy whose wife died unexpectedly a little over a week ago. He wanted to come over and my husband didn't hesitate a second to tell him to come on over.

So J came over with his 6yo and 3yo (and also brought his younger sister). He was, as expected, a mess. Tired. Not sleeping. Lost.

Jillian (9) spent the day in the pool with the kids (and sometimes the sister) and Mike spent the day talking with J. We cooked a good meal and made sure he ate a little. And late in the day when he dozed off under the fan on the back porch, we talked quietly and let him rest.

My husband spent his Father's Day being a father to this young man who desperately needed some normalcy. Some encouragement. Someone to listen.

Mike doesn't like it when I talk him up to others. He always diminishes the good he does by saying that it's what anyone would do.

He's definitely a keeper.

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